Manchester United’s owners have boasted that the futuristic mega structure that will become their new stadium will allow '100,000 people watch some desperately mediocre football for many years to come'.
One Manchester United fan said 'I personally cannot wait for teams like Accrington Stanley and the Dog and Duck Second XI to play in a stadium that is primarily a shopping centre and yet somehow also visible from space.'
'Manchester City might get relegated because of Financial Fair Play rules. United will get relegated the old fashioned way.'
Zuflaxizog, the pilot of a passing alien spaceship, fumed 'There is a lot of space debris around the Earth these days. Mostly footballs from errant Manchester United strikers. Hey, what’s the massive red circus tent? '
Photo by Nat Callaghan on Unsplash