Rishi Sunak's pledge to bring back national service, includes selling teenagers to the highest bidder. For £12.50 you can rent a kid to fight your war or mow your lawn. This will give them valuable lessons in community and indentured servitude. Said a spokesman: 'It's about kids giving something back and share holders taking a little something out.
'We can't trust the public sector to deliver public sector services. Kids need to be outsourced. And if Southern Water can run a tap, they can run a teenage fire service - just don't expect the water to be clean.
'18 year olds will be taught to serve. To serve drinks and hors d'oeuvres mainly.'
Asked he thought MPs should also make an effort to serve the nation, he just laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
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