The backbencher expressed outrage that these saucy minxes should be demanding a pay rise: ‘All they do is lounge around provocatively in A&E departments, delivering trays of patisserie while bending over in frilly knickers. And if they’re on strike, who is going to buff the Ming vase with an oversized feather duster or get chased by a randy vicar?’
According to the Health Department, nurses are technically the doctor’s butler and should only speak when spoken to. 78% of all staff are called Désirée and uniforms can only be made from mesh halter tops, with a titillating apron. Sadly, any industrial action by the nurses will seriously disrupt the queue time to see such a skimpy outfit.
Remarked Barry, 47, a nurse: ‘I’ve never dressed in make-believe fetish gear – not unless you count the fake PPE equipment the Government sold us.’