Media desperately grateful for Toblerone story

The news about the cancellation of dark chocolate Toblerone has been seized upon by media outlets, who are exhausted by a long run of bad news stories about Trump, Gaza, Ukraine, Tariffs, Climate Change, AI threats and Inflation-Recession-Stagflation-Cost-of-Living.

And just in time for Easter, too! How fortunate.

The Krafty Americans, temporarily rebadged as the meaningless Mondeleeez, know how to get good press. After all, they have only cancelled the 360g dark chocolate bar. You’ll still be able to get the ordinary ones, orange ones, caramel ones, white ones, peanut ones and coca-cola flavoured ones. They will still be clogging up airport shops all over the world. And you’ll still be able to get dark chocolate Toblerones in other sizes, including the tiny little ones. You know, the ones that used to be 100g, but are now down to around 60g after removing a few peaks.

You can bet there wouldn’t have been as much coverage if the 360g bar had been cancelled and replaced with a 330g bar.

Yes, decent news stories about anything nice, like chocolate, ice-cream or sunbeams, are in short supply. And the media does often suffer a dip in advertising at Easter. So running a non-threatening news story about a chocolate bar to give Mondeleeez some free publicity seems fair enough.

Other cosy news stories coming soon: 'Creme Eggs to have added vitamins', 'Peace in Ukraine after exchange of Chocolate Oranges' and 'Scunthorpe plant to start making Irn-Bru'.

image from pixabay