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Man hails "liberation" of becoming homeless



On the very day that Trump's tariffs come into effect, an Ohio man has hailed the "liberation" he feels in being made homeless.


"When I think how much I used to fret about the stack of unpaid bills on the kitchen table, whether to pay the power company to keep the lights on or my landlord so he wouldn't evict me," said Frank Ptarmigan, formerly of Main Street, Ohio. "It's such a relief not to have to worry about that any more, since I don't have a table. Or a kitchen.


"Oh, and Mastercard, that twenty grand you're always up my ass about? Good luck getting that back! Please address your letters to 'no fixed abode'.


"Sure, it means I'll have to rely on charities and soup kitchens to feed me from now on. Which means they'll be the ones struggling as the price of eggs and other essentials goes through the roof! Losers!"

Ptarmigan made it clear that his situation wasn’t caused by Trump's tariffs, though he said he was pleased to have bagged a dry spot underneath a bridge, since there'd probably be a lot of competition for it soon.



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