Sean Collins, 27, and on a night out in Swansea, was showing no vital signs. Plain-clothed paramedics were quickly on the scene and resuscitated the lifeless Collins with an Aussie kiss. 'I reject the term plain-clothed,' confirmed head paramedic Angela Williams. 'We are always fabulously clothed. Actually, it is essential that we maintain high visibility at all times.
'As every professional paramedic is highly trained in and understands, an Aussie kiss is like a normal kiss, but down under. Emergency felatio forms a core part of our training and it's an essential tool in our particular set of skills. 'Every paramedic team operates in a male/female buddy system and we are able to bring back to life anyone, regardless of gender, sexual preference or religious belief. A-sexual atheists we just slap until they bleed back to consciousness.
Fortunately, a nearby DJ happened to be playing Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees, which helped with timing and rhythm. 'I came round when I came round,' said Collins. 'This amazing woman saved my dull life, and I will never be able to thank her enough. Hopefully, the gratitude in my eyes was enough to let her know how much what she did meant to me.'
Statistics show that there has been a huge growth in young females faking their own unconsciousness in order to experience life-saving cunnilingus.
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