“We are the last people to want to curtail free speech,” said the Daily Mail’s managing editor, Peter Box-Hedge, “but we must act right now in the interests of national security – ie. securing the Conservative Party victory at the next election.
“Ill-informed Bolshevists writing in the Financial Times have dared to suggest that soaring food prices might somehow be the result of food products being stuck in queues of lorries stretching back miles on both sides of the Channel.
“And they are saying that the economic recession could possibly be down to investment banks and hundreds of other firms relocating to Europe because business prospects in post-Brexit Britain are so dire.
“These are malicious lies, since everyone knows that our current economic crisis is completely the fault of Kier Starmer, Angela Rayner, Hezbollah, and the secret, money-eating pixies who come out from underground every night.
“We have called upon Home Secretary Suella Braverman to introduced new legislation to lock up anyone who says differently, and we are delighted to say she has agreed - in return for us backing her leadership bid in two months’ time.”
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