Science still has no explanation for what happened on the toilet earlier. A breezy fart wafted out, but it is an unfathomable mystery as to why it was surprisingly cold. Anything emanating from the body is supposed to be warm, unless recent consumption of curry has taken place, in which case hot could be a descriptor. And also ringystingy.
But cold? Never cold. Surely? There is strong evidence to suggest one is not dead inside. And all other farts in other circumstances have been in the warm to upper warm range historically. Today is reasonably mild, so it can't be that. One thing is for certain, not a soul is to learn of this because, well, that could be highly embarrassing.