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Liverpool police apologise for arresting victim of attempted shooting



Liverpool police investigating the murder of a 9 year old girl were today left with egg on their faces when it was revealed they’d arrested the man the gunman was trying to kill, not the gunman himself.


“When witnesses said he was the victim, I thought they meant in the Hillsborough sense ie the person who’d committed the crime,” explained Detective Inspector A.A. Calmdown.


“Anyway, doesn’t ‘victim’ mean anyone from Liverpool?” added his assistant, DS Curlyperm.


However, both officers stressed that they were confident they would soon have the guilty man in custody, “at which point we can begin the process of endless public enquiries and commissions to show it wasn’t his fault. Unless of course he turns out to be a Mancunian.”


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