A number of liberal celebrities from both coasts of the US have taken to social media to outdo each other in how upset they are about Trump’s victory in the presidential election.
“I spent this morning holding Frasquita, my Latinx maid from Puerto Mexico, and reassuring her she’s gonna get through this,” said one well known teen pop star. “Though only from behind, so she could carry on cleaning the bathtub.”
“I just don’t understand it,” said a famous actor. “How many times have I posted on social media that people who vote for Trump are just, like, total douchebags? And it still didn’t win them over.”
Another celeb, who is presumably an influencer since she doesn’t seem to do anything else, said that until she watched the election night coverage, she hadn’t even realised how many other states there are between LA and New York.
”Though I guess it does explain why it takes so long to fly over them.”
All the celebs then issued routine threats to leave the country they “no longer recognise at the America we love”. A well known bookmaker quoted the odds of them actually doing this as slightly longer than the presidents’ faces on Mount Rushmore being transformed by wind erosion into the four main characters from Gossip Girl.
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