Leicester v Spurs is still an absolutely huge match, and definitely worthy of an hour and a half of your attention, plus 2 hours of build-up, oh, and an hour of post match analysis, Sky has insisted.
The news comes after sports fans were found to have been gorging themselves for 15 days over the summer on a festival of free-to air world-class Olympic action across 54 different sports.
‘Yes, ok, so viewers have, apparently, been able to watch sportsmen and women striving to achieve their ambitions, all embodying the Olympic motto of faster, higher, stronger and treating the great imposters of triumph and disaster the same, blah, blah, blah’, sniffed a Sky marketing executive, feigning disinterest.
‘But,really, is watching Keely Hodgkinson majestically running down the home straight and destroying the field better than sitting through The Foxes’ season-opener against a bang-average Tottenham side, all for £45 quid a month? Really?’.
‘Simone Biles may have pushed the boundaries of what is humanly possible on a beam, and Leon Marchant may have ignited the games from the La Defense Swimming arena, convincing a sceptical Paris audience of the almost transcendental nature of sport at its best, but we didn’t have the exclusive rights to any of that, did we?
‘So please, instead of this interminable post-Olympic nonsense about the world coming together once every 4 years to share in something that is bigger than each of us individually, can we please just get back to hyping up what - even at this very early stage of the season - is undoubtedly a massive test for both teams, and which will tell us much about whether their pre-season ambitions are likely…
‘….oh, who am I kidding. Compared to the BMX Freestyle, this is dull as shit’.