With echoes of the scandal surrounding Covid PPE contracts, millions have been squandered trying to make Keir Starmer look like Bob the Builder. Rumour has it that the Chancellor, Rachel Reeves, has a luminous vest made by Christian Dior and wellies made by Ugg.
No minister is permitted to appear on camera without an obligatory hard hat and a confused look, when ever offered a hammer. Yet no one has pointed out that wearing High-Vis and a suit just looks like you cannot be trusted to eat soup without spilling it.
One Minister defended the decision. 'Some have said we cannot boost the economy with austerity, but certain industries are booming. Take the hi vis jacket manufacturing sector, they're raking it in.'
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