As The Met Office has released Snow Warnings across the UK, NewsBiscuit has released a helpful guide:
Green Snow Warning: might be medicines you’re taking, or a liver disease, but knowing you skanks you could just stop swallowing your mouthwash.
Amber Snow Warning: you’re probably dehydrated; a lot of sport, a high protein muscle building diet, or after-match drinks with the team can all dehydrate you, but so can sinking a bottle of plonk on your own while crying incessantly, and I think we know which this was, don’t we?
Red Snow Warning: if you’re not on your period, it could be additives, or even beetroot, but you should probably get yourself checked out at the doctor’s in case of prostate problems or kidney stones, or a GUM clinic for STIs…probably best to go there first, TBH.