The summer fun is over and it's time to create that funereal mood that lets people know Labour's in charge of their lives, so:
1) Create a huge black hole. Root around your potting shed and pull out some incomplete Treasury accounts from before the election. Compare these with the completed Treasury accounts and spot a £22bn discrepancy between the two. Call this a "Tory black hole".
2) Cut out the deadwood. Take away winter fuel allowances from all but the very poorest pensioners. Deaths amongst pensioners will doubtless rise over the coming months. Dispose of these in the "black hole" you created earlier. Cover over by heaping more blame on the Conservatives.
3) Shovel nutrients onto the striking train divers and junior doctors. After all, you will need the junior doctors to write out the death certificates for all the deceased pensioners. And if anyone else with a trade union ever feels like striking in the future, be sure and pile nutrients on them, as well.
4) Sod the lot of them. If anyone complains about your more-heartless-than-the-Tories policies - sod them! You have a monumental parliamentary majority and you could turn the entire garden into a dictatorship if you really wanted to. Well, it sort of is one already.
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