As Ukraine celebrates a bold strike across the Russian border, there is a slow realisation of 'lads, we may be f$cked'. As the Nazis and the concept of drinking less alcohol will attest, it is impossible to reach Moscow.
Observed one retired General: 'Russia is big. Really big. Think of the biggest distance you've ever walked and multiply it by a gazillion. That's how big Russia is. So if you invade, your troops get stretched out like a joke by James Corden. Your supply line looks like someone trying to hurl a loaf of bread from Belgium to Slough. And all the pesky Russians do is wait for winter to turn you into camouflage Popsicles.'
The incursion has shown Russia to be vulnerable but also not that bothered. Remarked one Russian soldier: 'We've plenty of land left, just think of all the Crimea we pinched last time. And while Ukraine is focused here, we'll be nipping round the back, and invading the Isle of Wight. Simples.'
Image: Wix AI
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