Dacorum Decorum
(to the tune of "Teddy Bears' Picnic")
If you go down in the woods today
You’re sure of a big surprise.
If you go down in the woods today
You’d better not touch your flies,
For council men, wherever they’re hid
Might charge you up to eighty-eight quid
Cos that’s the way the
Bureaucrats get your piss nicked.
Piss-take time for bureaucrats
The soddin’ bureaucrats are
Having a lovely time today
They might catch you unaware,
Bend your ear and spoil your holiday.
See them get their papers out
They’re not in any doubt
You’re littering with intent.
In six months’ time, they’ll hear your appeal,
Till then they’ve got your dosh
It’s a pain in the fundament!
If you go down in the woods today
You might have to take a loan
It’s handy down in the woods today
But cheaper to go at home
And you’re peed off, but they will accrue
A golden stream of new revenue -
That’s the way the bureaucrats
Get your piss nicked.
Photo by Lukasz Szmigiel on Unsplash