Former Prime Ministers are fuming as they realise the charges they spent gazillions of taxpayers money defending could have been avoided by just taking a fixed penalty notice.
'WMD fracas - £100 - bish bash boom. Might have expensed it though,' suggested one former Prime Minister.
'Lying to the Queen, unlawful prorogation, hygiene risk in a fridge - I'd have donated £500 for a season ticket if I'd known. Bloody irritating I got fined for a cake,' said the previous holder of the record number of criminal offences admitted while Prime Minister.
'Violating a pig - I'd happily have paid up to £150 if I'd known,' said another. We're not sure if this refers to an actual pig or just Edwina Curry.
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