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Writer's pictureWrenfoe

GPs replaced by Druidic Apothecaries




A US owned healthcare provider has a cost-saving measure for getting your nan's lumbago diagnosed, involving a plague doctor, with a certificate in trepanning. By using traditional practitioners, they can do away with expensive luxuries like anaesthetic or informed consent.


A representative of Operose Health said: 'Yes, we could use fully qualified GPs but its much cheaper to leave it to Mad Meg the Exorcist.


'We will be focusing much more on potions, spells and rubbing a horned toad on your athlete's foot. We've an excellent Mesopotamian Priest who can cure your erectile dysfunction with a goat sacrifice and an arsenic enema'.


Coincidently, patients have complained that waiting lists date all the way back to the Medieval period


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