Government’s 'Name your own Covid variant' scheme a runaway success

The Government launched initiative has proved popular with the milling masses. People are naming new variants after their pets, the Fido and Tiddles Covid variant being particularly prevalent. Personalised ‘Artisan’ names are to be made available via auction by the DVLA. Custom face masks will be provided with their chosen variant name printed in large letters to show off how superior they are to their sub species public in general. One Minister said that plebs will be able to buy them as gifts to unloved ones, should they survive.