"Rachel is a key member of Labour's team who has got Britain's economy booming again with her masterfully shrewd Budget measures," lied a Downing Street spokesman.
"She has stated that she used to be an economist at HBOS and we are telling you that there is no reason at all to doubt that, just because it's untrue.
"And we forbid you to disbelieve Ms Reeves when she says she took a trip the Moon in her gap year and strolled around on its surface, planting daffodils.
"OK, it's a bit of a stretch - but compared to the fibs we all had to tell on Boris Johnson's behalf, it's pretty much gospel truth."
Rachel Reeves got a second-class degree from Oxford in Politics, Philosophy and Being Economical with the Truth. She then worked as a mediocrity in the financial sector and now serves Britain by driving farms and small businesses into bankruptcy.
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