A somewhat truculent deity has told his faithful that the reason their prayers are falling on stony ground, is that he was trying to save up for Glastonbury tickets. His preferred invocation would be a cheque made out to ‘cash’ or Nectar-points of the Gods.
His Muchness explained: ‘In the event of a major disaster, your heartfelt prayers are very touching but I can’t exchange those at M&S – I barely get store-credit. The songs and stuff are particularly lovely - but is a gift card too much to ask for?’
God read out one prayer: ‘This one comes from Fernando, age 7. Fernando asks ‘Please, can my village have clean drinking water’. Well, no, Fernando, no you can’t. I’m not wasting it in some grubby corner of the third world. It’s Las Vegas – yeah, Las Vegas baby! And I’m going to be using up all those thoughts and prayers on the blackjack table.’
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