The German city of Hamburg is reeling after being declared entirely responsible for meat products mislabelling.
'This has gone on for far too long,' announced Helmut Euler, Head Chief at the FSA. 'There is nothing more dangerous in the world than misrepresented consumables. You wouldn't believe the trouble we've had with baby food. Exhaustive tests have shown that there are virtually no babies in it whatsoever.
'It is therefore my grim duty to declare that the entire city is responsible for widespread confusion over whether hamburgers contain pork products or not. Everyone knows that a hamburger should be made using 100% cow. We have no option but to close down the city until it renames itself, changing all signs and map references to Beefburg.
'Next we are going after Brie Larson, who is less than 14% cheese.'
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