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GB News Acquired by The Beano


Following the fire-sale purchase of right-wing news organisation InfoWars by satirical site The Onion, financially struggling UK counterpart GB News has announced its acquisition by a similar long-standing publication, The Beano.


'We're delighted to bring GB News under The Beano's masthead,' said Denise Menice, editor-in-chief. 'Thankfully we'll have to make very few alterations, given we've already got Nigel Farage as a perfect Roger the Dodger, telling you how to dodge inheritance tax; Jacob Rees-Mogg was actually the original model for Lord Snooty, so it's really a case of life imitating art; and of course the rest make a great ensemble piece as the numbskulls."


In a Clacton pub, regular viewers were - perhaps shockingly - welcome to the changes. 'So long as they don't take that Michelle Dewberry off the breakfast show,' one supporter remarked, 'she's the only reason I get up in the morning, if you get my drift, fnar fnar!' While another was a little more hesitant, telling us, 'I'm worried about two things: First, the woke agenda sneaking in. None of the kids get whacked with a slipper or a cane any more. I was beaten by my dad and it never did me any harm, if you don't count the PTSD. Second, I hope they don't use all those long words like they do in the comic. I try to read it every week, and have to ask my son for help.'


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