Scientists have discovered that flavoured vapes are just as healthy as low-calorie cigarettes. In fact, they boasted: 'You'll get plenty of vitamin C standing out in the sunshine vaping. Plus the coloured plastic casing can be eaten as a flavoursome pudding.'
Vapes are being marketed as a healthy alternative to arsenic, with all of the nutrients you can get from crystal meth. 'It's like a protein shake, if you replaced the word protein with nicotine.
'We would go as far to say that an hour of vaping is much tastier than injecting heroin into your eyeball. Plus, Fruity Vapes makes an excellent stripper name.'