A Premier league footballer has admitted that the complex hand signals made to team mates just before taking a corner kick mean absolutely f*@k all.
'They're all absolute bollocks to be fair', said Paul Jones, Brentford's reliable number 7. 'That one I do with my left arm aloft, 4 fingers raised - it really means nothing, mate'.
'The long wait with both my arms straight in the air, looking over earnestly at Dave on the back post? Completely meaningless', continued Jones.
'At the end of the day, there's only 2 types of corner - inswinger or outswinger', admitted Jones. 'If the ball lands on someone’s head? Pure luck'.
Jones also revealed that when footballers were cupping their hands and whispering to each other before free kicks, they were likely to sharing a crude joke, or discussing which pub they'd be going to after the game.
'Commentators and pundits read a lot into them, saying we’re tactical geniuses, but none of our signals or secret whispers mean a thing', said Jones. 'Oh, with one exception. That fast upward and downward movement with my hand in a fist shape, whilst mouthing 'W@*ker to the referee - that's totally genuine'.