The English National Union of Farmers (ENUF) has claimed responsibility for a series of food-based attacks on political figures, and warned that there are more to come.
"We started with egging that statue of Margaret Thatcher - you can thank the Egg Marketing Board Continuity Faction for that, they've never forgiven Maggie for Edwina Currie" said a spokesperson, face and identity hidden behind a really filthy tractor window.
"And we organised the milking of Farage, if you see what I mean. Thanks for wrecking our subsidies, Nigel. And we'll carry on to make sure all politicians know farmers have had ENUF."
Journalists were then told that a list of more targets had been mowed into a cornfield near Ipswich. The list included plans to throw "very plain" flour over Keir Starmer, apple juice over Ed Davey "though he might not notice", an "imported mouldy lettuce" at Liz Truss, and a dead duck at Rishi Sunak.
image from pixabay