Nigel Farage has admitted that sacking a quarter of his MPs has reduced his opportunities to disagree with people.
'I'm close to having to argue with myself', admitted Mr Farage.
'I don't think you are', said Mr Farage in riposte.
'Oh, come on, you frog-faced turnip', shouted Mr Farage.
Mr Farage was later admitted to hospital with a fist shaped bruise on his face which is believed to have been self-inflicted.
'Mr Farage appears to have slapped himself', explained a hospital spokesman, 'But, to be fair, if he saw his face in a mirror who wouldn't want to slap it?'
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