7th day. Knackered after creating heavens and earth. Feel like fool - forgot omnipotent deity can give Himself 5-day week.
Added new attraction to Garden of Eden theme park: "Meet serpent who gives dietary advice."
Maybe went too far with Great Flood. Facing huge water bill plus possible genocide charges.
Sodom just asking for fire and brimstone treatment - who names their town after anal sex act?
3rd degree burns. Good thing Moses had bucket of water handy. What made me think hiding in burning bush was good idea?
Egyptxit. Chosen people finally let go. Pharaohs sure slow to take hint: gnats, boils, locusts, death of firstborn. Was about to try breakfast TV on them.
Red Sea parted. God: 1. Laws of physics: 0.
Israelites reach Promised Land. Will move in some Palestinians just to keep things interesting.
Giving it to Job good and hard. Keeps saying "Blessed be the name of the Lord!" Think I've just invented sadomasochism.
Much hassle from Monopolies Commission. Hope they fall for "three persons in one God" trick.