Minister for Common Sense and No Mucking Abaaaaaht Esther McVey has got involved with what colours civil servants can wear - both on their work lanyards and in their own private lives.
Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said 'We don't want civil servants to have consciences, that would be a disaster. Civil servants have to implement government policy, so we want dead-eyed automatons, whose only joy is inflicting as much avoidable suffering as possible. Like Esther McVey.'
'We must know if civil servants' pants could be carrying political messages. Or if 7 civil servants all wore shirts in the colours of the rainbow, they wouldn't be allowed to stand in a row.'
Civil servant Eleanor Evans said 'McVey wants to ban pointless, political job creation schemes? What, like having a Minister for Common Sense?'