Ron Jenkins of Clacton is disputing his wife, the BBC, his phone and his smart speaker about the day of the week.
"You can't fool me, it's clearly Monday", said a defiant Mr Jenkins. "We've just had two days off and a roast dinner, what more proof do you need that was the weekend?"
Mr Jenkins is believed to be of the opinion that a conspiracy run by "big sprouts" is trying to get two weekends per week to double the number of Sunday roasts and, hence, increase the consumption of sprouts. The belief is confirmed when Mr Jenkins can be heard to mutter, "Bloody Brussels" at regular intervals.
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