Anticipating that brown envelopes full of cash may dry up once he is ejected from No. 10, Boris Johnson is working with computer game developers on something new and original.
Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst said 'Your character is Prime Minister and faces serious real-world challenges. However you get points for charging around causing chaos, partying, getting laid and lining the pockets of you and your mates.'
Game developer Luke Lyle said 'I renamed Untitled Goose Game, and took their money.'
Hootington-Hurst continued 'Turns out, we've changed one letter from an existing game. Now an 'E' instead of a 'U'. Suella Braverman's legal view is that it's all the EU's fault anyway. Anyone who says otherwise is an enemy of the people.'
Lyle did not anticipate an enquiry into the money spent. 'What are the Tories going to do? Track and Trace me?'