Street parties and signs of national jubilation have all been delayed, not because of lockdown, but because Boris survived. Retorted one aggrieved worker: ‘I’ve had my daughter under lockdown for the past month but now he’s out, she’ll have to stay there indefinitely.’
Now that Boris has resumed his day-to-day duties, death rates to the coronavirus have increased, pretty interns have returned to family planning, but nurse groping has gone down. The UK had struggled, having had its leader in a vegetative state – incapable of work or rational thought; so, when he went to hospital, that had made a welcome change.
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