"It's been less than a week since they were booted out of power, and I'm missing them already," said a voter in Kidderminster, closing her morning newspaper with a sigh.
"No one in public office is gambling on tip-offs any longer, or flouting the regulations they just created, or passing insane laws declaring Rwanda is safe to ship migrants to. I don't see Jacob Rees-Mogg on the television every evening sneering at the electorate like we were tenant farmers who'd dared knock at the big house during cocktail hour.
"The prime minister and chancellor haven't cooked up a budget that freaks out the bond market and sends mortgage rates soaring, and we're not getting 60 ministers resigning in a single day. Our new prime minister can accurately count the number of children he has sired on the fingers of one hand, and no one has yet refurbished their Downing Street flat with donations from a mystery millionaire.
"I miss the chaos," continued the voter, dabbing a tear from her eye. "It's been so calm, it's spooky. I miss throwing things across the room in a blind fury at all the folly, corruption and deceit. I tell you, Keir Starmer will have to do a lot better than this at serving up shocking tales of government sleaze and stupidity if he wants my vote next time round.
"I mean, what does he think I pay my taxes for?"
Many disgruntled Conservatives and Fartragers claim that doom has already struck, citing complete fabrications, so the entertainment continues. eggy car
According to lots of miffed Tories and Fartragers, disaster is already upon us whist citing total fabrications, so the entertainment is still with us.