Recent democratic hiccups such as Brexit and Steve Brookstein have proven that the average voter is decidedly average. The electorate have become too arbitrary and capricious to be trusted with anything more important than choosing a holiday destination or a new brand detergent. Instead a series of Oracles will be consulted; including Katie Hopkins, some chicken entrails and a German octopus, called 'Chlodwig'.
This does leave 50 million voters with nothing to do on June 8th other than expressing their democratic opinion in the only way they know - by hurling faeces and gibbering like a baboon. Their only hope is that a humming stone monolith tells them what to do - but they should be careful to avoid anything resembling an 'Ed Stone'.
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