The UK has ignored 20,000 deaths and subsequent pop-up messages to renew. Explained a No.10 spokeswoman: ‘We just assumed that the UN was after our credit card details again. And we thought ‘malware’ was a seventeenth century cravat worn by Jacob Rees Mogg.’ Meanwhile the UK promised prompt action, just as soon as he could boot up their Sinclair ZX Spectrum.
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