A cross party select committee has reluctantly concluded that Taylor Swift hasn't been awarded a multi-billion pound contract to supply the government with faulty goods, that there is zero evidence that she has been offered let alone accepted a plum job advising the government on how to privatise the NHS to her benefit, nor is there any reason to believe HOLAC, the House of Lords Appointments Commission has had any reason to accept or reject a peerage nomination for Ms Swift despite her being far more relevant than, say, Charlotte Owen.
The select committee spokesperson says they have been trying very, very hard to support the outrage being fuelled by mainstream media but deny their diligence is directly proportional to the fact that they comprise the sum total of MPs who didn't get offered tickets.