If you’ve made it past your GP (well done) and a battery of tests, and you’ve got medical support for an operation, then Good News! You can now choose where to have your NHS operation, and you are guaranteed a choice of at least five hospitals.
Here’s how it works:
You can go to your nearest NHS hospital.  For reasons to do with economies of scale and budgetary constraints, it’s 10–15 miles away. Various transport options are available, but it would be brilliant if you could drive.  Convenient for you, and twenty to fifty quid in parking charges for the hospital. Its clinical ratings are average, if you ignore the maternity scandal.
You can go to your next nearest NHS hospital, which is 15-30 miles away. The only transport option is to drive.  Why would there be public transport to a hospital 30 miles away?  The clinical ratings are average, if you ignore the organ harvesting scandal.
Your third, fourth and fifth choices are all a long way away. You will need to book a hotel. The clinical ratings are average if you ignore (a) the doctor that was on Panorama and got struck off, (b) the damage done by collapsing ceilings because of RAAC cement and (c) any problems caused by understaffing and underqualified North Korean doctors.
And we’ve spent a lot of money on a new NHS App, so that you can make your choice quickly and easily using your mobile phone. If you can use one in your condition. See you soon!
PS: Have you thought about going private? Â Hungary and Turkey are both good, and very affordable for self-funders.
Picture credit: Wix AI