The UK government had been forced to deny the charge, that Beijing espionage has been disrupted by Barry Gardiner completely failing to influence events or wield any kind of power.
A Beijing spokeswoman said: ‘It soon became apparent that not one of these idiot MPs knew any secrets worth a damn. We’ve squandered millions in bribes, only to discover that your average UK politician has all the pull of a toddler on a tug of war team’.