In a crackdown on mobile phone usage, students will have to use traditional forms of communication – such as a fax or a typewriter tied to their wrist. Phones are an unwelcome distraction, in marked contrast to having a carrier pigeon stuffed in your blazer.
A spokeswoman confirmed: ‘We don’t want students reading or writing on their phones, to divert from reading or writing. Mobiles create low level disruption; whereas as someone leaping up and down with hand-held flags and paddles is stimulating. Semaphore allows colourful social communication – plus the child gets a good workout.’
Agreed one teacher: ‘Rather than let students text each other, I just encourage them to shout out ‘oi’ whenever they want. It’s more discreet. Students need the confidence to put down their phones and fashion a stylus out of their own excrement. It’s about developing writing skills – like graffiti. And, at this school, having read the toilet cubicle wall – I can confirm that ‘Dave iz a bender’.’
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