ByBit robbers foiled, as crypto coins are imaginary, Stupid

The theft of $1.5bn of crypto currency had raised concern, until everyone calmed down and remembered it was all make-believe. Explained an economist: 'It's like Santa or a politician with integrity, none of it is real. It's as if they have stolen Jesus' signed photo of the Yeti, it's not there to begin with.'

While $1.5bn of nothing is a sizable chunk of nothing, it is still nothing. Ironically, the only people who seem upset by the theft are crypto-traders - which is not a real job to begin with. By contrast gold is very real - unless of course you are in Fort Knox, where all the gold has been replaced by the Aliens from Roswell.

'For the criminals, they have the unenviable task of counting all their imagery loot. I mean, where do you start? What happens if you miss a bit? How would you know? Try smelting down invisible loot, it's hard. Now, if ByBit were smart they should just claim they have stolen it back. Who would know?'

Image: WixAI