Britain to Negotiate US/Canada Peace Agreement

Great Britain has offered to negotiate a peace agreement between Canada and the United States.  This would allow the return of half of the United States to the Americans, while the rest would continue to be the eleventh province of Canada.

'I can't think of anything fairer than that' said a source close to one side or the other. 'Half each!  As for which half, I suppose Canada will want the top half - including Alaska - but it's not clear whether the Americans will want the bottom half.  It may be a bit near Mexico for their liking.'

'Maybe, if the Mexicans invade, they could negotiate to give half of their bottom portion to the Mexicans, in exchange for the Mexicans contributing to the cost of building a wall right round the whole of the American's remaining territory to keep out everyone, including the Canadians, the Mexicans and everyone else, including anyone who dares to wants to try to export anything to them.  Not sure what they'd do with Israelis though.'

image from pixabay