Boring Oscars used to euthanize Death Row inmates

The 86th Academy Awards promised to provide a humane but lethal cocktail of mediocrity. ‘Allowing inmates to drift into a soporific state, while the brain atrophies is what the Oscars is about. We’d experimented with forcing prisoners to watch paint dry,’ explained one prison governor. ‘But that was a fairly laborious process and lacked an opportunity for song and dance numbers’.

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