The Booker Prize, awarded every year to the writer who ticks the most diversity boxes - sorry, the best new work of literary fiction - announced today that it’s introducing a new category for writers who were only published because they already had a TV profile.
The Pre-Existing TV Profile Award, colloquially known as the “already famous off the telly” award, will be spilt into two categories - “slightly tongue in cheek cozy crime fiction” and “children’s books because really how hard can it be?”
Asked why they’re seemingly so dazzled by TV stars, one publisher (who asked to remain anonymous) replied 'Oh, we’re not, not at all. We know that most of it’s shit. But we also know the public will buy it just the same.
'You might as well ask west end producers why they think people off the telly are invariably the best actors. They don’t, they just know people will pay through the nose to see them.'
STOP PRESS: It’s just been announced that the first P-ETPA has been won by “The Boy Who Rushed Out A Ghostwritten Book To Cash In On Having Briefly Been In Hollyoaks.
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