President Biden has said that an invasion of Cornwall by Wales could happen at 'any moment', and added that the US was ready to respond 'with a very angry email' should an invasion occur.
Cornwall has itself responded angrily to the suggestion, suggesting that the US should 'stay out of our tin mines'. Wales has also denied intending to invade Cornwall, despite a heavy build up of Welsh ramblers on the Cornish border.
Biden insists that a Cornish invasion is still 'very much possible' and that America will step in to secure Europe's pasty supply, sourcing pasties from Devon and Turkey if necessary.
In addition to a possible Welsh invasion of Cornwall, Biden has also warned that Norway could potentially invade Tierra del Fuego, 'literally any second now' and that India might start throwing eggs at Canada, 'just when no one is looking'. He has also advised that the town of Doncaster 'watch your backs, and keep an eye on Cheltenham, because those guys could just walk in, any time'.
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