BBC calls for more celebrity affairs

BBC executives have put out a call for “more celebrity affairs, preferably involving age disparities” in a desperate bid to avoid having to report on the Covid Inquiry.

‘We’re a serious news agency’, a spokesman sniggered, ‘and we have a duty to report impartially on whether Celebrity A inserted his man sausage into Celebrity B. That’s precisely what Lord Reith meant when he said . . . . whatever. I was off that day’.