Opponents say safe guards have been watered down, but Ministers insist they have the very finest Magic Eight Ball. High Court judges will no longer determine consent, instead it will be a panel of experts, consisting of a six-sided dice, a roulette table and a pack of tarot cards.
Rather than rigorous checks, the determining factors will be are they poor, disabled and liable to leave all their money to Wes Streeting. Provided the applicant meets these strict criteria and they are sufficiently confused, then it's off to the knacker's yard.
The Bill in its current state includes provision for a large spinning 'wheel of death' to be hosted by Ant & Dec. The Minister said: 'People are upset about drawing lots, blindfolded from a bag of marbles but I say, life is random, it's a lottery. In this case, it will be a literal lottery on the BBC at 7pm. Good luck, Gran, I've got my fingers crossed!'
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