The trade union which represents eastern train drivers and western cingulata wranglers is not satisfied, continuing to threaten an escalation in strike action, and armadillos everywhere.
'It's not about the money,' said negotiators who had just been granted a 14% pay increase. 'It's about management receiving more money.
'Our demands are simple and clear. We want sweeties, world peace, and exclusive access to the best rides at Alton Towers. Otherwise it will be chaos, carnage, and a refusal to put on our shoes.
'And if the moon doesn't come on a stick with floaty ribbons and jingly bells, then our members will do that thing where we lie on our sides on the floor in Tesco, scream like banshees, and propel ourselves in circles with our feet.'
Image: photo-graphe - Pixabay
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