Proclaimed one evangelist: ‘The Lord wants to see your chin acne and lady moustache. Instead of covering your mouth, we should open it wide and accept the bounteous cough-droplets of the soon to be deceased.
Dideth the Lord, not spake unto Joseph – cover ye not your wonderous beard, for it is a joy to behold. Bring forth your twin dimples of delight. And be not sorely afraid to expose your nostrils, that will sneezeth in the face of Beelzebub.’
Masks are the Devil’s way of making us look at breasts. Yes, we could focus on eye contact, but who’s going to do that while there are breasts to look at. Anyway, if God had wanted us to wear masks. he’d have made us all bank-robbers.’
‘With 3.5 million cases and 140,000 deaths, our country is leading the way in fighting this Commie virus. This is not Vietnam!.’ In other news, Vietnam has no recorded deaths.
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