The advisor explained, somewhat sheepishly: 'I was just plucking jobs out of thin air. Kickboxer, chess champion, sex trafficker, Romanian pizza delivery boy, Greta Thunberg burn victim. I was clearly having a laugh. I didn't expect him to actually... you know.'
'I sarcastically said that with his qualifications, it was either the tills at ASDA or become a reality TV star. And I told him that pyramid schemes and fetish sites were not proper jobs, unless he planned to be an MP, in which case he should embrace both with enthusiasm.'
'I said, 'Andrew, if you keep this up, you're going to become an arsehole'. And he asked 'How much does it pay?' so I said 'Maybe 10 years - or hopefully more.'