In an otherwise divided America, workers have united to praise America’s feudal employment laws.
‘We’re not pussies like you Europeans’, said one American, probably called Brad or something. ‘We work hard, we play hard. If our manager wants to f*ck us up the ass – well, that’s the American way. Most Europeans wouldn’t survive a week in an American company.’
Most Europeans agree, citing such effete frivolity as employment law, the right to some kind of a life and self-respect, a concept which has yet to make it across the Atlantic.
Brad, or whatever his name is, disagrees: ‘Listen, if Elon – or any rich guy, basically – demands to know what I achieved last week so he can sack me on a whim – well, that’s what made America great.
Have you seen that picture of the guys sitting on a girder in the sky? That’s America. Scared of heights? So plummet to your death, weakling. We’ll applaud.
Britain used to be great, too – you had those chimney sweeps, they were fantastic. And I saw four guys from York Shire on the TV talking about living in a newspaper in a septic tank. I passed their details to HR – they sound like they’d fit right in here’.
Picture credit: Wix AI